dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
