I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
