I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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