I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
