remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
