dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
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