I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
