hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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