He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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