He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
