We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
