dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Four minutes until I can fart!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
