I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
