Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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