Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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