I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
