I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It's just like the Real World with babies
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize