Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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