is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
