The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
