i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
