she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it was like eating out sand paper
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
