Say something about gay babies.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
