Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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