He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
