YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
