Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
