Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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