So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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