I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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