i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wish you could order shots online.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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