Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
