I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
