He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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