We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
