There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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