on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
