IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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