What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize