I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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