This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
