Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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