I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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