he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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