I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
