no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
