last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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