It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
