Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I smell like Dick and happiness
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize