if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
