Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wish my penis had a tongue
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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