Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
