I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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