Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
