i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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