mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
