Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
