he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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