I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
