i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
