I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
