Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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