Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
