Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
