We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
