I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
you never un-have a 4some
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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