u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
