my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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