i think i have herpe
just one?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize