Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
