im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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